The Kinks, Yoga, Irish Bars and Romeo (in a non-Shakespeare sense)

I feel like i'm doing pretty well at keeping up with this blog, for me anyway...i'm a bit of a fail when it comes to keeping up with things...i've done salsa, modern, jazz, ballet dancing over the years, Spanish, French, German, Italian....hmmm British Sign Langauge (although clearly all sign language must be the same), yoga (what a joke), synchronised swimming (LOL), taikwondo, karate and let's not forget kick boxing (I don't even want to talk about that one.) I get bored easily. Anyway, I am keeping up with this so go me. What is pretty shocking is that I am sitting here on a friday night, on facebook having to face potentially a night in (snow.) Brilliant. Well, after my slightly hilarious journey home yesterday, its not worth the risk too be honest, just like so many things. Some examples (done by me of course) include jumping in that fountain at Liverpool Street Station whilst drunk or having a toothpaste/hair moose fight with your best friend and then she pretends to spray bleach on you and claims your hair is turning blonde so you believe her, naturally mutual trust and all that, and jump in the shower fully clothed screaming. (There are facebook pictures to prove this btw.) How gullible am I.

Anyway this journey home...it started with the most amazing journey on the DLR; fittie next to me, fully charged ipod, galaxy bar and a girlie chat...what more could a girl need, except to not be wearing a ridiculously stupid hat. It ended with me in a slightly insane mood, a hurt ankle but on the plus side, I have now found a banging irish pub. No, so anyway after my DLR journey I hit Lewisham...ok grin and bear the wait for the train alicia...10 minutes...20 minutes....50 minutes. I am actually going to wet myself, I have never needed a wee this much not even that time in Brighton when I accidentally gate crashed a Pride and Prejudice banquet in my punky leopard print mini dress to go to the so-called, "Powder rooms." Right, I am not missing this train I thought..I am going to have to use the station facilities (if they can even be called that.) No, I did actually hear they are pretty ok for station toilets (by that, people mean they actually have toilet seats and toilet roll...the brilliant messages on the wall are always going to be there...my number is 07865 326756...call me...well thats about as likely as a train ever actually arriving at this station. Anyway, the toilets were locked...hmm to find an attendant (I love how they are called that but are complete useless and don't attend to you at all-wow that sounds a bit doodgy.) Anyway, this woman clearly hadn't showered for three days or weeks more like..."they are all broken love, sorry." To which I reply, even the disabled one (as I casually fake a limp and look like i'm from an institution.) Yes. Brilliant. So, frustration got the better of me and my alter ego who seems to resemble Stacey from Eastenders (its the south east london girl in me coming out again) responds with," well this is going to be a brilliant day for you isn't it...no trains, angry customers all day and now i'm going to piss myself on your platform." Sometimes you just have to take a stand and proceed to walk straight into your ex-boyfriend and pretend you don't remember him. Brilliant.

So I had to abandon the train station...where am I going to wee was pretty much the only question that crossed my mind...when I come across a fabulous irish pub. The sign on the door, "toilets are for customers only," didn't put me off. Worst case scenario...i'll just sit and enjoy a guinness. Anyway, the toilets engaged and this girl comes out and is like are you ok...clearly i'm a bit pale faced due to the ex incident. I get chatting about how I'm stranded...so she says she will help me out with buses...I go to the toilet and then I try to casually go and sit down. We are chatting, love for ireland and all that. Fuck she looks a bit dykish. Can I have your number and we can go out sometime?...is what she asked me. Ok, so I know i'm wearing a knitted pink stripy borderline ridiculous hat, but I am clearly the most girlie girl and doesn't the mcfly tshirt give away my love for men. (Actually, I'm not sure if you could call them men.) Traumatised much.

Right...I need some air and I am just going to walk home. I can't wait in this vicinity anymore. So I embrace the walk with my ipod (well its actually my mums, seeing as mine had no battery.) This means when you shuffle songs you go from the Kinks to Barry White to Eminem in a matter of seconds. Most hilarious music taste ever. I think so. Also, the phone has got no battery now to...and I have somehow (by jumping on a bus for one stop which went the wrong way) ended up by, "Romeo block." (Yes, it is called that) on a council estate that I vaguely remember finding myself hanging around on (once...I repeat once..) when I was about fourteen. OH dear. I just about made it out alive even if three boys did come towards me with a rockveiler (i have no idea how to spell that, or how I get myself into these situations.) I casually started trying to run but then bumped into them again...they must know the shortcuts of these, "endz," lol.. "OIII, you know sneaky when you were younger."...OH DEAR. "Yes, I am ashamed to admit he did know my friend." They reply, "Safe gal, safe.." Erm...Excuse me?! Is that even english.

Then, I just needed to breathe. I made it home at about 8 oclock, having left work at four...slipped over flat on my back..classic styley practically outside my door after thinking, "Wow I haven't even fallen over all day."

How do I do it? I have no idea but I love the how embarassing and hilarious it all is.

Enjoy the snow, I am because next year if I ever save enough money for my travels, I maybe having a double summer instead!

xoxo

p.s avoid Romeo block and the So Solid Crew (who I believe I met last night.)

Nutters together as well as apart.

It's strange isn't it how we are so in sync? Your having a sad day so am I, your having a crazy day so am I...how does that happen? Seeing as I don't really believe in that whole psycic thing (except the fact that I can definitely tell the future of course...I mean I never know how I predict that I am going to end up wasted pretty much every friday night!?) that means that it must be down to the fact we are soulmates. Everytime you walk out the door you see or hear something that reminds you of each other or all of times together....(I saw this yesterday and thought of you babe...only you will understand)

By the way just to clarify I am not talking about some boyfriend of mine (as if), I am talking about my best friend in the world...my partner in crime...and shopping. It is summed up in the quote, "A true friend is one soul in two bodies." That is us, in a nut shell. We both love chanel, pink, being a bit crazy, cosmopolitans (who doesn't) and we both share the same renounciation of men (well we like to think we do anyway- until we see that amazingly beautiful guy from the other night and it is definitely fate lol.)

But its more than that because, like she said to me when I was 16, "Never trust any man." No, well I clearly never took that advice...she said, "you know you have the best friend not because you finish each others sentences or having matching flip flops (we have been through that stage) but because when she is happy, so are you and when she is sad you are sad too." That...and really how many friends do you know...who would make the most dramatic exit on NYE ever to go to another random party in some crazy city in kent we have never been to before, who would suprise you on your birthday even if she did have a crazy amount of work to do, call that boy a c**t when you just couldn't find the right word lol and finally, have the best times with you in Ireland, London, Nottingham and wherever else we end up. Wherever it is I know we will always be together...because lets face it....

We are one soul in two bodies...

and it is true...every thorn does have its rose..

I love you sister xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bridget Jones, David Hasselhoff and JLS (What a combination)

Hello and welcome to my commercial blog...I'm not going to lie I have a private one with my best friend (about all those times that we have fallen over on dates, purposely got ridiculously smashed to get rid of a date...or got our dress caught in our pants, which seems to happen to us both an unfair amount or maybe just me.) Anyway...I'm not going to lie...diarys are my downfall and this will probably be the same; see I'm a little bit bad at keeping up with things; for example, I'm pretty crap at texting back, I find it hard to keep up with the snails in the park when I'm jogging in the mornings (a rare occurence) and therefore, as my average amount of diary entries for an entire year is normally about three, I will probably fail at keeping up with this blog.

See, I want to create something like Bridget Jones, doesn't everyone. However, while her writing is good; mine is not. We do however, have one similarity in that we run into the most embarassing situations. You name it, I do it. There is nothing I love running into more than a lampost; normally with my dress caught in my knickers or something like that. (There we go i'm mentioning the knickers incident again; it is of course indicative of how many times it has happened...my flatmate can vouch for that...among other people.)

Anyway...my first blog entry is going to be about something I love...fridays...so here we go...

So lets just face facts; tomorrow is going to be that crazy day where I have absolutely no time on my hands whatever; I am most likely going to fail at plucking my eyebrows to perfection and look more like a scare crow and the sparkling nail polish will probably end up looking more like it has been painted on by one the children I look after. You know what. Fuck it. Fuck it fridays, as well as Fat fridays (oh yeahhhh chips tomorrow.) I'm serious though, fridays should be that day for thinking about nothing except where you are going to get your kicks: will it end up being another crazy night in a pair of David Hasselhoff knickers (standard) or is it going to be a flop (in all senses?!) Lets hope its not a combination of the two which would result in David Hasselhoff flopping. (Bad times.)

So fuck it fridays, tomorrow may see me sorting my life out once and for all; that our yet again ending up with an embarassing story and that jls condom remaining in my pocket. (I only bought it for the banter...yeah sure, it's not because I have an unhealthy obsession with all of the boys from jls and secretly hope that buying their condom will make them fall in love with me in some indirect way.) I mean seriously its been a hectic week what with trying to break into HSBC headquarters in Canary Wharf (I thought it was topshop)...and having the American step back into my life with the genius words....

(To be continued)

Keep smiling xxxx