I feel like i'm doing pretty well at keeping up with this blog, for me anyway...i'm a bit of a fail when it comes to keeping up with things...i've done salsa, modern, jazz, ballet dancing over the years, Spanish, French, German, Italian....hmmm British Sign Langauge (although clearly all sign language must be the same), yoga (what a joke), synchronised swimming (LOL), taikwondo, karate and let's not forget kick boxing (I don't even want to talk about that one.) I get bored easily. Anyway, I am keeping up with this so go me. What is pretty shocking is that I am sitting here on a friday night, on facebook having to face potentially a night in (snow.) Brilliant. Well, after my slightly hilarious journey home yesterday, its not worth the risk too be honest, just like so many things. Some examples (done by me of course) include jumping in that fountain at Liverpool Street Station whilst drunk or having a toothpaste/hair moose fight with your best friend and then she pretends to spray bleach on you and claims your hair is turning blonde so you believe her, naturally mutual trust and all that, and jump in the shower fully clothed screaming. (There are facebook pictures to prove this btw.) How gullible am I.
Anyway this journey home...it started with the most amazing journey on the DLR; fittie next to me, fully charged ipod, galaxy bar and a girlie chat...what more could a girl need, except to not be wearing a ridiculously stupid hat. It ended with me in a slightly insane mood, a hurt ankle but on the plus side, I have now found a banging irish pub. No, so anyway after my DLR journey I hit Lewisham...ok grin and bear the wait for the train alicia...10 minutes...20 minutes....50 minutes. I am actually going to wet myself, I have never needed a wee this much not even that time in Brighton when I accidentally gate crashed a Pride and Prejudice banquet in my punky leopard print mini dress to go to the so-called, "Powder rooms." Right, I am not missing this train I thought..I am going to have to use the station facilities (if they can even be called that.) No, I did actually hear they are pretty ok for station toilets (by that, people mean they actually have toilet seats and toilet roll...the brilliant messages on the wall are always going to be there...my number is 07865 326756...call me...well thats about as likely as a train ever actually arriving at this station. Anyway, the toilets were locked...hmm to find an attendant (I love how they are called that but are complete useless and don't attend to you at all-wow that sounds a bit doodgy.) Anyway, this woman clearly hadn't showered for three days or weeks more like..."they are all broken love, sorry." To which I reply, even the disabled one (as I casually fake a limp and look like i'm from an institution.) Yes. Brilliant. So, frustration got the better of me and my alter ego who seems to resemble Stacey from Eastenders (its the south east london girl in me coming out again) responds with," well this is going to be a brilliant day for you isn't it...no trains, angry customers all day and now i'm going to piss myself on your platform." Sometimes you just have to take a stand and proceed to walk straight into your ex-boyfriend and pretend you don't remember him. Brilliant.
So I had to abandon the train station...where am I going to wee was pretty much the only question that crossed my mind...when I come across a fabulous irish pub. The sign on the door, "toilets are for customers only," didn't put me off. Worst case scenario...i'll just sit and enjoy a guinness. Anyway, the toilets engaged and this girl comes out and is like are you ok...clearly i'm a bit pale faced due to the ex incident. I get chatting about how I'm stranded...so she says she will help me out with buses...I go to the toilet and then I try to casually go and sit down. We are chatting, love for ireland and all that. Fuck she looks a bit dykish. Can I have your number and we can go out sometime?...is what she asked me. Ok, so I know i'm wearing a knitted pink stripy borderline ridiculous hat, but I am clearly the most girlie girl and doesn't the mcfly tshirt give away my love for men. (Actually, I'm not sure if you could call them men.) Traumatised much.
Right...I need some air and I am just going to walk home. I can't wait in this vicinity anymore. So I embrace the walk with my ipod (well its actually my mums, seeing as mine had no battery.) This means when you shuffle songs you go from the Kinks to Barry White to Eminem in a matter of seconds. Most hilarious music taste ever. I think so. Also, the phone has got no battery now to...and I have somehow (by jumping on a bus for one stop which went the wrong way) ended up by, "Romeo block." (Yes, it is called that) on a council estate that I vaguely remember finding myself hanging around on (once...I repeat once..) when I was about fourteen. OH dear. I just about made it out alive even if three boys did come towards me with a rockveiler (i have no idea how to spell that, or how I get myself into these situations.) I casually started trying to run but then bumped into them again...they must know the shortcuts of these, "endz," lol.. "OIII, you know sneaky when you were younger."...OH DEAR. "Yes, I am ashamed to admit he did know my friend." They reply, "Safe gal, safe.." Erm...Excuse me?! Is that even english.
Then, I just needed to breathe. I made it home at about 8 oclock, having left work at four...slipped over flat on my back..classic styley practically outside my door after thinking, "Wow I haven't even fallen over all day."
How do I do it? I have no idea but I love the how embarassing and hilarious it all is.
Enjoy the snow, I am because next year if I ever save enough money for my travels, I maybe having a double summer instead!
xoxo
p.s avoid Romeo block and the So Solid Crew (who I believe I met last night.)
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